October 2010
2 posts
HAPPY HOMECUMING, IU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KEV CUMS HOME. Nothing swells my sack with joy like returning to my would-be alma matter and past employer. Here is a pic of the greatest Hoosier warrior of them all, ME!
7 Ways To Be The Most Irresistible Woman At Kev's...
This morning, as my latest babe was in the bathroom doing whatever you ladies do in there after morning sex, I took it upon myself to snoop around her purse. I was expecting to find crumpled reciepts, lip gloss, empty Plan B packets, the usual. What I was not expecting to find was the November 2005 issue of Glamour magazine with Natalie Portman on the cover. Wow did I hit the jackpot. I confess...
September 2010
6 posts
ROOFIES RULE!
Ladies, I know most of you are opposed to the idea of getting roofied, but before you judge, you should stop and ask yourself: how do I know something is bad if I’ve never tried it before? I for one have tried roofies, and I can say they are amazing. This weekend was my first time doing them but I can say they really work. You get SO fucked up! Since none of my roomies wanted to go out, I had to...
Kevin Kennedy: A Biopic
Just made this amazing movie perfect.
Which P Should I Pick?
Just finished watching the movie Doubt for the first time. STORY OF MY LIFE. Never have I ever related so much to a character as I did to Phillip Seymore Hoffman’s in that movie. Reminded me so much of my situation when I was asked to leave my position at the IU Athletic Department. Except if Meryl Streep was on my ass instead of my boss I would have tapped that before I peaced out! ROTFL.
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Dr. Kev will see you now
I think I am getting sick. Last week I went to the grocery store and as I was walking through the parking lot, my attention was caught by a little asian biddy wearing high heels. Never fails! Every time you go somewhere where the dress code is basically look like shit, i.e. grocery store, the gym, Rally’s at 9pm, the waiting room at the free clinic, you can bet that if there is an Asian...
The Disappearance at the Dairy Queen: Part 1/1
As promised, I have to give you some background information on this case. Unfortunately I’m not going to be able to solve it like I had orinigally planned, the reason being that this case was recently solved like 20 some years after it was committed. UGH. Fucking cops. Oh well you should still know about it.
Above is a picture of the girl who Disappeared at the Dairy Queen in 1986....
Charles Manson is the Vincent Van Gogh of our...
Hey guys, sorry I haven’t been writing as much as usual lately, I’ve had writers block! LOL I don’t expect you guys to understand because it only happens to geniuses but I just have to be honest with you and tell you about the reason why I’ve been MIA. Right now I’m drinking some whiskey and water and I’m watching Mind of Manson on MSNBC, which is a...
August 2010
12 posts
Add "Kennedy" to the list of great philosophers in...
It’s Sunday, and I usually use this day as one for reflection on my previous weeks of life and keep things tame. This past week has been a roller coaster ride of emotions that surely would induce psychotic breaks in the minds of an average man, but never fear guys, for Kev has it under control. This week I fought with my 51 year old tree hugger roommate a lot, which led me to get blacked out...
An ode in tribute of a homage to The One
This is a poem I wrote about the girl I am in love with. I met her last summer in Bloomington and have been thinking about her ever since. Ladies, I’ve changed her name so you don’t get any crazy ideas and go after her. Don’t be too upset; there’s plenty of Kev to go around.
Dearest Darling Megara McMuller,
Wence I first laid mine eyes on thee
I knew that we were meant...
SAVE KEV
Wow guys, I was beyond blacked out when I spilled that secret about Cher. Only hope Chaz Bono doesn’t try to beat me up, but then again if she tried I would end up doing all the beating….of her pussy! Come on do you really think a tranny can escape Kev?
Okay so today I have something really serious to talk about: this might be the last time you ever hear from me, and it’s not...
I'm going to hell....
Christening the KOK
Okay so everyone knows I am from nap town where the girls know how to get down…like on their knees. As someonewho has been with a lot of girls, I need variety more than even the average man, and believe it or not I was getting a little tired of the Nap town scene. Just when I thought my dick would shrivel, die and fall off, I remembered that Indiana University (my former place of employment...
Do you believe in love after life?
I’m really wasted from drinking all day so if this post seems more rambling than usual you will know why. And to all the Nancy Drew’s out there who are going to say “if you’re so drunk where are all the typos?” I’ll have you know I installed instaspell/grammarcheck on this bitch.
You guys may not believe this next story I tell you but it’s 100% true....
I got the big boob blues
I’m a little down today, and I know it’s because I haven’t seen any big boobs in a while. Don’t worry people, a while for me is like a second for you LOL. But anyway I thought that in order for me to cheer myself up I could either jerk off or get drunk. My roommate is not that cool, she’s a little older than me but she’s not a MILF she’s crazy tree hugger...
Condoms are wack, bitch!!!!!!!!
A word to the wise: never trust a girl who acts SO EXCITED when you are at the store buying condoms and keeps raving about how awesome these condoms are because they’re studded/ribbed/spiked/dipped in cayenne whatever like that ugly girl in the Trojan commercials always is...
GAPE RAPE WILL MAKE YOU BROKE...if you're not...
GAPE RAPE
Before I wrote about this, I had to see if it was in urbandictionary under some other wrong definition, but thankfully it wasn’t. However it is now because I went ahead and created a page for it. Since it is currently under review by the editors of urban dictionary, here is what I put:
gape rape When you have sex with a girl who is passed out drunk and you put it in her butt. ...
Have to post my thesis. It never hurts to read it...
5 REASONS TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME IS A LIE
I woke up this morning to an ephiphany: I have a moral obigation to all my hertero brothers out there to expose the truth about Toxic Shock Syndrome: IT IS THE BIGGEST CONSPIRACY THEORY EVER. Women just use it to make us men feel even more sorry for them during their periods because they are putting their lives in danger to keep the blood off the sheets at...
I'm really glad I came up with the awesome idea to...
Hey. I know I’ve said a lot of amazing things in the past and I wouldn’t take back any of it because it got me mad pussy. But all those things were limited to Facebook, and I have come to the realization that I need more space and freedom to express my thoughts, especially when it comes to raising awareness of an issue that is very near and dear to my heart: exposing the Toxic Shock...
